You never know what you might find, when you begin to turn over rocks in a rock pool.
Not dissimilar to when you opt to turn over the ‘rocks’ in your life.
There are few, I have found. Who are willing to interrupt the architecture of their lives in order to know themselves deeply.
And so most tiptoe around their rocks, careful not to dismantle the formation -lest they find themselves faced with some thing they might prefer not to have seen. If we do not see it, we can avoid confronting it, and so we walk on the balls of feet through our lives, careful to avoid anything that might invite in that most feared of all guests, change.
Being with uncertainty is for me, the hardest thing of all – and I know I’m not alone. A life spent grappling for something to hold on to. Something immovable, concrete which would bare all of my weight even if I leaned and pushed with all my might, to wash away early experience of instability, was a marred plan. And so it is inevitable then that as I turn my rocks, I finally confront what it is that on some deeper level, I have always known.
The truth, that eventually you have to quit looking for the immovable thing. The constant which won’t let you down, won’t crack beneath your weight or ‘muchness,’ won’t abandon or leave…and become it yourself.
BE that steadfast lighthouse which shoots out beams to light up your darkness so you can find your way. BE the arms that wrap around you and soothe your soul with “its ok.” Become the eyes that see beyond your mess to the greatness, the beauty that you truly are and remind you, remind you of all that you have always been.
And the route to that becoming lies firstly in our unbecoming. Our dismantling. Our toppling. Our rock turning.
To deliberately dive head first into uncertainty, is the bravest thing I continue to do. Because the alternative, is a life half lived. A surface level existence which though devoid of the surrender which ultimately challenges the mettle of our character, is also bereft of the magic.