Make yourself the project – 3 Things I’ve Realised about how my Relationship With Money is Holding me Back

So it’s 7am and in the blissful awakening I’ve already had fifteen ideas. Jamaica will do that for you. Turn up your senses and reconnect you with the gems waiting patiently within you. I open my notepad to capture the stream of ideas for the coming months and there it is, my list from this time last year;


  • Get a book deal. Tick
  • Finish writing the book. Tick
  • Support Monet through passing her A levels. She left school to be a superstar model so that ruled this one out, but I get a tick for the support part.
  • Sort finances….


This one has been on most of my annual lists, most years.  While I’d create plans and realise them with seeming ease, this particular bullet point has staying power. I’ve been fortunate to make good money over the years from multiple streams at any given time, but holding on to it and making it work for me has always been a challenge. This year I have grown and evolved more than ever before. I have transformed, and yet my relationship with money remains the weak link.


I enter the living room and find my husband pen in hand making his own lists. Clarity always emerges out of silence.


So we begin talking about our plans over breakfast.


So what’s this money thing about? In my book PURPOSE www.jessicahuie.com/book

I share about the period in my life when I could calculate the entire cost of my grocery shopping before I arrived at the checkout. I would put a cost (generally correct within 10p) beside each item so that I knew I wouldn’t be embarrassed when I got to the checkout with my young daughter. There was no room for impulse purchases then, then somewhere through the years as I began to earn more and start businesses which meant my income was not capped by a salary, it wasn’t just my supermarket of choice which changed, but my entire approach to spending. I stopped pre-empting the cost and for the most part if I came across something I wanted I was a master at creating all the reasons why (or often as not we,) should have it.


We sat drinking coffee dissecting me and money and I found this;


Money Revelation no.1


When my life shifted I began to see spending carefully as a reminder of that period of struggle in my life. So I resisted any restriction to spending. “Food is not an area to scrimp in, it’s our health’ I would say. Now that of course is true, but the problem was I applied this logic to everything. “What’s the point in working this hard if my kids can’t have the best education?”

“I work hard so I need several holidays each year to restore.” Etc etc. If I wanted it, I created a case for it, and it was all underpinned by an unconscious need to not feel poor again – even if it was at the detriment of my financial stability tomorrow.


Being careful with money reminded me of the days that I didn’t have any, so I overspent to keep the feeling at bay.


Money Revelation no.2 was around how we limit what is possible for ourselves financially through our words and perspective on money and its availability to us.


“I’ve made good money” I repeated to my husband. He stopped me. ‘Good money in relation to what?’ He asked. Now considering where I started out, the expectations for what I might achieve based on the majority where I grew up and my personal set of circumstances, I’d done more than good. But why was I still measuring myself against a barometer which no longer has a relevance to my life?  Telling yourself ‘I’m doing well in comparison to where I started’ is a complete cop out and excuses us from realising our true potential – which is infinite.


But we have to really and truly know that and trust that we are deserving of that, in order to take the actions that will make it available to us.


Yes, reflect on your journey, yes be proud of your accomplishments, but the moment you start resting into the comfort of what is good based on other people or your old standards, we are off track.


Our only measuring tool, should be whether our means enable our ultimate life in which we get to be the ultimate version of us.


My biggest money revelation on this tropical morning however, is about vibration. The penny dropped when I opened my new ‘The Wisdom of Sundays’ book by Oprah and read an extract from Michael Bernard Beckwith. As scientists are telling us and most of us innately understand, we are not just flesh and blood. Therefore, we can only attract into our lives that which we are aligned with on a vibrational level.


It’s yet another example of why this exploration and journey to self is a necessity for anyone keen to do amazing work with their life. Our relationship with and connection to our true self and the vibration which we emanate, is a result of what’s going on within us – and dictates what shows up in our outer lives, spending money without constraint to avoid the feeling of being without, is fear driven low vibrational stuff. That vibe doesn’t radiate abundance. I’m changing that this year, and now that I’ve identified what’s really going on and have called out why I keep doing what I do with cash, I can change it. And that’s the key. Lists are great and valuable, but what will really change your life is making yourself the project, putting you and why you do what you do under a microscope, then doing the self-work.


What are the habits you will be giving focus to this year in order to become a bigger version of yourself? I’d love to hear which areas of SELF you will be giving focus to. There is power in sharing, put it out there and hold yourself accountable!


I’ll end with a quote from Beckwith which sums it up nicely.


It’s not about attracting abundance. You have to be it and radiate it, and then it is drawn to you. And you to it. So then the work becomes about you working on yourself.





  1. Rachel

    Nice blog post Jess. On my list is also to save more and earn more so I can relate to many points you made. But I still believe we deserve all these holiday ☺️☺️
    I set a few days aside every year to re-evaluate my spending and my savings / finance strategy and it makes it all stabilise but like you I’m ready for the next level. Keep up the good work. x

    • Jessica Huie

      I think we deserve the world, we just want to be sure that our spending is driven by a love and appreciation of ourselves rather than to plaster over some underlying sense of lack. Lets next level together. Much love and thank you. X


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